How to Talk to Your Parent’s Doctor
Caring for an aging parent often means attending doctor visits, asking hard questions, and speaking up when something doesn’t feel right. But how do you talk to your parent’s doctor in a way that builds trust, honors your parent’s wishes, and gets the answers your family needs?
You’re not alone if you feel unsure. At Harmony Senior Referrals, we’ve helped hundreds of Colorado families navigate this exact situation. This guide will help you prepare, show up with confidence, and become an essential member of your loved one’s care team.
Why Communication with Doctors Matters
When you’re part of your parent’s medical journey, you can:
- Spot early warning signs they might downplay
- Ask questions they forget or are afraid to ask
- Coordinate better with their care team
According to Dr. Ardeshir Hashmi of Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Geriatric Medicine, clear communication is the cornerstone of great care:
“The best care plan only works when the patient, caregiver, and doctor are in partnership.”
Before the Appointment: Prepare Like a Team
1. Talk to Your Parent About Your Role
Let them know you want to attend appointments to support them—not take over. Reassure them that they’re still in charge. Their voice, goals, and values come first.
Tip: Ask how involved they’d like you to be.
2. Make a List of Questions and Concerns
Write down what you and your parent want to ask the doctor. You might include:
- New or worsening symptoms
- Medication side effects
- Concerns from other family members
3. Complete the Necessary Forms
If your parent agrees, have them:
- Sign a HIPAA waiver so you can access their medical records
- Assign you (or another trusted person) as their medical power of attorney
These steps help ensure you’re allowed to speak on their behalf if needed.
During the Visit: Support and Listen
1. Focus on Trust, Not Control
Avoid taking over the appointment. Instead, listen actively and make space for your parent to speak.
Remember: You’re an advocate, not a replacement.
2. Ask Questions and Take Notes
If something is unclear, ask for clarification. Jot down key points so you can follow through with care instructions later.
3. Raise Concerns Respectfully
If you notice memory issues, fall risks, or other safety concerns your parent won’t mention, bring them up gently and respectfully.
4. Respect Privacy
Ask your parent beforehand if they want private time with the doctor. Also ask if you can speak to the doctor separately. Trust works both ways.
After the Appointment: Follow Up and Coordinate
1. Review What You Learned
Go over notes with your parent. Talk about next steps—new prescriptions, appointments, or lifestyle changes.
2. Check in with the Full Care Team
Make sure other providers (pharmacists, therapists, specialists) are updated. Consistency between doctors is key.
3. Add Helpful Support Services
Depending on your parent’s needs, consider extra help like:
- Grocery or meal delivery
- In-home caregivers
- Emergency alert devices
- Transportation or cleaning services
These additions can help your parent stay independent and reduce everyone’s stress.
A Simple 3-Step Plan for Colorado Families
At Harmony Senior Referrals, we help families build a team they can trust. Here’s how to start:
- Speak with a local senior living expert
- Get personalized care and communication tips
- Explore trusted care and support options near you
👉 Speak with a Local Senior Living Expert Today
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I talk to my parent’s doctor without their permission?
Not usually. You’ll need their written consent or legal authority (like medical power of attorney) to access medical info or make decisions.
What’s the best way to prepare for doctor appointments?
Create a short list of symptoms, questions, and concerns. Bring a list of medications and any recent changes in your parent’s behavior or health.
What if my parent refuses help or hides symptoms?
This is common. Build trust, listen to their fears, and gently share your concerns. A doctor or third-party professional can often help bridge the gap.
What is a medical power of attorney?
It’s a legal document that allows someone to make healthcare decisions on behalf of your parent if they become unable to do so.
How do I bring up assisted living to the doctor?
Ask if your parent’s medical needs or safety could benefit from more support. A physician can help evaluate if senior living is the right next step.
You’re Not Alone in This
Being part of your parent’s care team isn’t always easy. But it’s one of the most meaningful ways you can support them.
At Harmony Senior Referrals, we guide families just like yours every day. Whether you need help understanding medical options or exploring assisted living in Colorado, we’re here.